July 2012
39 posts
“The tournament which was incident free for all of the days despite the increased turnout this year was however marred by a gunshot that was fired hitting an innocent bystander.”
—But, you know, otherwise incident-free.
“Boy, I don’t want you to become an electrician. I was working in the English Building today, and I saw those fellows with their feet up on their desks, smoking their pipes and reading their books. That’s the job for you.”
—Roger Ebert’s father, explaining why he wouldn’t let his son watch him do any electrical wiring.
“We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.”
—From the graduation speech delivered by Rose Goosens, this year’s valedictorian at my Catholic high school, St. Agnes. When I graduated, there was no student speech: graduation was held (of course) at the church, and women are not allowed to so much as ascend the altar at St. Agnes. Since it wouldn’t do to allow male valedictorians to make speeches but not female ones (wouldn’t want to be sexist or anything, right?), there were just no student speeches at all, and each year’s graduation speech was delivered by (of course) a priest. St. Agnes seems now to have solved that problem by moving graduation to the school gym after Mass rather than at the church during it. Progress!
Zeus Jones: Giving Kids “An Entrepreneurial Spirit” in The Modern World →
hellozeusjones.tumblr.com
Some of my friends and I were recently reminiscing about the door-to-door selling we had to do as kids. For me, it involved going up and down my street in 10 degree February weather with my dad, mostly getting rejected by neighbors who had already bought their Girl Scout cookies elsewhere. For…
In this post for Zeus Jones, Becky refers to my frustrating experience selling light bulbs and candy bars for my Catholic schools and to her own rewarding experience with the Stock Market Game. Against all odds, my friends and I also triumphed in the Stock Market Game, circa 1989. We were supposed to use our fake money to buy a diverse portfolio, but out of laziness and a spirit of why-the-hell-not, we dumped our entire kitty into Northwest Airlines on the basis of a rumor that it was about to be purchased by KLM.
It worked like a charm: the gears of the buyout turned, and NWA shot up like a rocket. A few months later, my sci-fi-nerd friends and I found ourselves proudly telling a roomful of runners-up at a downtown celebration that we’d made a mint by taking a huge gamble and not giving a shit. It was, indeed, an educational experience for all of us.
Hi, I recently came across your post a year ago on 'Red Machine' by Fugazi. I'm wondering if it was your first listen to a Fugazi album. You also mention being unfamiliar with or having little taste for hardcore and 1990s music, and I'm wondering if you mean to say you don't like punk music, or just '90s punk. Thanks!
I like classic punk music including the Ramones and the Clash as well as neo-punk outfits like Green Day. 90s music in general is not my favorite, and hardcore in particular will probably never be a favorite of mine…as I wrote in the Fugazi post, I guess I’m just not a hardcore guy. That said, I’m starting to give Led Zeppelin a chance, so I’m taking baby steps into out-and-out headbanging.
“I did (very) occasionally imbibe in the good old days of ‘Sno Shoe Grog’ by the Phillips Distilling Company of Minneapolis while grouse hunting. I was introduced to it by my friends Bob Drew, Marv Tero, and Phil Hagedorn as one of the necessities of hunting. The positive aspects were that it acted like a mouth wash if you hadn’t brushed your teeth that morning, and got you prepared for the kill. However, I knew enough to only drink the stuff in the ‘deep woods’ where I could do no one harm. I must also admit to trying blackberry brandy at Bob’s suggestion as well. But I have lived to age 67 because I gave both of those libations up around age 40.”
—Is there any uncle more uncle-like than my Uncle Bill?
“All, There are some exciting development in the corporate channel. We would like to take this opportunity to introduce the new model, the leaders spearheading the different verticals and answer any questions that you may have.”
—College life, 2012.
- Mom: I'm going to Target. Should I pick up a small air conditioner for your apartment?
- Me: Oh, no, you don't have to do that. I'll be fine.
- Mom: The thing is, if you don't get air conditioners early in the summer, the stores run out.
- Me: I have fans. I'll be fine.
- Mom: Okay.
- Temperature: [hits 94]
- Target employee: "Oh, yeah, our air conditioners are all gone! They've been flying off the shelves, ha ha!"
