April 2011
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Best tweets of March
Starting with one that I missed from February.
“If I have to hear gwyneth sing one more goddamn song I will send kirk douglas to her house to scare her children.” (@margiemerrym, February 28)
“‘I used to be fucking stupid. But then we broke up’ can i get a slow clap for this bumper sticker? Barf” (@meatpit, March 1)
“I’m shocked that Facebook is...
March 2011
49 posts
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phiLOLZophy: Philosoph-off: Kant vs. Hegel re:... →
philolzophy:
“Yesterday morning circa 7am Jay Gabler crashed the lolz nest and we had some morning giggles and discussed a question someone had put in our ask box the night before about whether a feminist should still believe a man should pay on a date. A few hours later I found an excellent face-off in my…”
Related: Ten things you need to know about surviving in the real...
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phiLOLZophy: Guest Post: Becky Lang on Peter... →
beckylang:
“Sarah and Chrissy let me write a guest post on Philolzophy.”
philolzophy:
“The teachers in my freshman Intro to Philosophy class introduced Peter Singer’s “Famine, Influence and Morality” essay to us by explaining it as the “Don’t Buy an iPod” argument. It was 2006 at the time, and in many academic-ish circles, the Apple device was considered the...
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Talking testicles at Liquor Lyle's
Katie: Do you have any apple juice?
Waitress: I'm sorry, no.
Katie: Balls!
Sarah: You always say "balls" like they're a bad thing.
Waitress: [giggle]
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I think I know what you mean, but I will choose...
Me: May I have the cup for my drink?
Milio's guy: Lemme finish making your sandwich first. The cups aren't sanitary.
Me: Oh?
Milio's guy: Well, I mean, they ARE...but they aren't. Know what I mean?
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“Betsy who is a Freshman at the University of Minnesota has retained all her...”
– My grandfather discusses my aunt Betsy, in a 1979 family Christmas letter. Aunt Betsy writes, “the problem was, my dad was right! To get the design degree you did have to take a fiber arts class which was basket weaving.”
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Canning What They Do: ::phone rings 20 times::... →
papemobile:
::phone rings 20 times::
Bartender: Hello, Toronado.
Me: Hi, I think I lost a hat at the bar a few weeks ago, and I was calling to see if you had it.
Bartender: I don’t know. You can come down and look for yourself. I’m busy right now.
::click::
Me (to dial tone): Well, fuck you too.
…
In my experience, there is no more miserable task in arts/lifestyle journalism than...
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How to make the next generation not suck at... →
Good piece by Becky Lang on The Tangential.
Teaching at a career college where many (though, gratifyingly, not all) of the students are absolutely terrible writers, what I tend to emphasize is clarity. Colloquialisms or alternate means of expression are cool, as long as the writer is actually expressing. What doesn’t work is when grammar is tripping all over itself, with tenses in...
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Those Swedes sure can vogue. And also, rock.
Maja Ivarsson, frontwoman of the Swedish rockers The Sounds, is “the new face” of beauty care line Sebastian Professional; here are some badass promo pics of Ivarsson in action in her new line of work.
The Sounds are one of the bands I’m most hoping to catch this week at SXSW. Their 2009 album Crossing the Rubicon makes me sweat mercury, and they have a new disc coming out...
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Theatre in the Round's publicity photos...
I know they’re a community theater company, but when you have a cast like this (Clarence Wethern, Lindsay Marcy, Tom Sonnek), you really need to have mercy and not subject them to this.
Hamlet runs from March 18 to April 17 at Theatre in the Round. Photos © Act One, Too, Ltd. (Not limited enough.)
phiLOLZophy: How To Justify Stealing Someone's... →
philolzophy:
I’m trying to steal someone’s boyfriend. Hard.
You know, not the dirty way. Not the ‘overlap’ way (that doesn’t work out well for anyone, does it?), but the way where I try to make myself seem extremely desirable and interesting and sexy and fun, you know, to play up that whole ‘grass is greener’…
Also reading Nietzsche this week: Mila Kunis.
“Hey, I just wanted to say that 15 minutes ago when you were walking into the...”
– awky housemate
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“Jason – I noticed at the upper left of your blog, in describing yourself, you...”
– via e-mail
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A conversation while watching gay porn at a party...
Shirtless guy in eyeliner: So are you queer too?
Me: No.
Shirtless guy in eyeliner: Really? Not even a little bit?
Me: Well, "queer" in the sense that I support everybody, but personally, I'm just into women.
Shirtless guy in eyeliner: Okay. Well, I just wanted to make sure you were being reflective about what you're participating in here.
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That's different
Me: Some subs are listed under "Favorites," and some are listed under "Classics."
Milio's guy: That's right.
Me: What's the difference?
Milio's guy: Yes, they're different.
Me: How?
Milio's guy: The Classics are just different. They just have different kinds of ingredients. Different kinds of specialty ingredients.
Me: They're just different?
Milio's guy: That's right. They have different kinds of meats, different kinds of cheeses. They're just different.
Me: So they're just different.
Milio's guy: That's right. They're different.
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“You need an assistant…maybe a chimp? An orphan that you can boss around,...”
– Daily Planet writer Courtney Davison offers suggestions to help manage my workload
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Out-of-ConTexts: Becky Lang
Cool thanks. I want to get that coriander beer. (November 29, 6:56 PM)
Haha awesome. We are doing some cleaning but you can probably come get loko in a bit (December 11, 7:05 PM)
It tries to be spare by having constant subject verb structure but that’s not how it’s done. (December 11, 9:38 PM)
I would say Katie is due for lyles and red dragon (December 21, 1:45 PM)
Maybe tortilla...
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Out-of-ConTexts: Sarah Heuer
CRUNCHWRSP (February 12, 2:03 PM)
Hahaha alllllllll out (February 12, 5:06 PM)
Ha hell yeah love me the shit out of some water chestnuts. Tell her hbd from the girls! (February 13, 4:46 PM)
Any word on 1419/love power happs this wknd? Chrissy and I are chomping at the bit haha (March 1, 6:40 PM)
So I SHOULD put makeup on huh? Haha (March 1, 10:32 PM)
Ahhh not on my comp but I will do red...
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Out-of-ConTexts: Katie Sisneros
Synchronized iPhoning at rudolph’s right now, may move elsewhere at some point. Also 2 for 1s (February 3, 10:26 PM)
Balls! (February 5, 8:31 PM)
Okay cool! Either way, we’ll see you tonight. We’ll be the brightly colored ones. (February 13, 12:30 PM)
P.S. Becky says 8:30 so she can nap. I’m bringing whiskey and my winning personality. (February 18, 5:18 PM)
Noodle...
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